ART + LIFE
WWE Smackdown Results: 7-4-08 and TNA Impact!...
TNA Impact! Results: 7-3-08
Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Caldwell's complete report). Condensed here to in-ring results only.
1 -- BEER MONEY (JAMES STORM & ROBERT ROODE w/Miss Jackie) vs. CHRIS SABIN & ALEX SHELLEY
Action broke down at 3:00 when Shelley took a hot tag, then Jackie hopped onto the apron with a beer bottle in hand. Shelley ducked an alcohol shot and Storm took it in the face. Shelley then quickly rolled up Storm for the pin and the win. So, the team challenging for the tag titles lost to a team in the World X Cup. Got it.
Post-match: Beer Money quickly cuffed Sabin and Shelley to corners of the ring and started whipping them with belts. Some referees tried to maintain order, but BM strapped them for good measure. Some people off the street sporting "Security" t-shirts tried to restore order, but they were quickly dismantled. They even went to the announce table and started whipping Don West. Beer Money grabbed Dave Penzer and tossed him into the ring. He started beating on him until Jim Cornette interrupted. Cornette said if they whip Penzer one more time, they'll both be fired. They cut to a shot of West selling a shoulder injury. Cornette said he's going to find the two most upset and po'ed off wrestlers he can find in the back to face Beer Money later tonight. West, having lost all objectivity years ago, said he hopes they kick the living crap out of Roode & Storm tonight.
WINNERS: Sabin & Shelley in 4:00 inconsequential minutes. Wrestling match happened and was quickly forgotten. Moving. (1/2*)
2 -- MOOSE vs. ROXXI -- Bimbo Brawl match
West said he's sending in his video on why he hates Roode & Storm. Tenay, in a laughably canned response, reminded West that TNA employees are not eligible for the Fan's Revenge. Action quickly spilled to the floor where Roxxi dumped Moose onto the floor. She then rammed a shopping cart into the corner ringpost and whipped Moose head-first into the cart. Back in the ring, Roxxi picked up a street sign and slammed it over Moose's exposed head. Why? Roxxi then picked up a chair and slammed it across her back. She missed with a second chair shot, then Moose finished her off with a DDT into the street sign. Roxxi came up bleeding from the forehead-area. They spent exactly one second on the blood, rendering it a waste.
WINNER: Roxxi in 4:00. (*)
3 -- REY BUCANERO vs. ALEX KOSLOV (w/Daivari) -- World X Cup match
Koslov quickly started the "Russia, Russia" chant, but Rey answered with a backbreaker and a series of arm drags. Koslov was knocked to the floor, but Koslov scampered back into the ring and nailed a flip dive on the floor. Back in the ring, Bucanero dropped Koslov on his head with a wheelbarrow slam. He then went up top and hit a sentaun dive for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Bucanero in 2:00 to earn 2 points. Disappointingly short. We didn't even get Koslov's dance-kick-dance-kick combo that is pure greatness. I guess they had to squeeze in 18 more Kurt Angle skits. (1/2*)
4 -- MILANO COLLECTION AT (w/Masato Yoshino) vs. CURRY MAN (w/Kaz)
Milano went up top early on, but Curry Man moved out of the way and started his comeback. They traded matrix-like counters before Milano nailed an enziguiri kick and measured Curry for a crescent kick that resulted in a nearfall. A moment of confusion for the referee led to Milano low-blowing Curry from behind. He then hit a twisting moonsault for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Milano in 4:00 to earn 2 points for Team Japan. From a viewer's perspective, too short and not enough background on Milano to care about this. (1/2*)
5 -- RAISHA SAEED (w/Knockouts champion Awesome Kong) vs. TAYLOR
Tenay said Taylor proposed to Jim Cornette last week. Check that, she proposed that she take out Raisha and she gets the title shot against Kong. Kong became involved early on and took out Taylor on the outside behind the ref's back. Raisha whipped Taylor into the ring steps before rolling her into the ring. Raisha tried to finish her with a moonsault, but Taylor made a comeback with a series of clotheslines. After another distraction, Taylor managed to execute a German Suplex with a bridge on Raisha. Ref re-entered the ring and made the count for the three count to give Taylor a title shot next week.
WINNER: Taylor in 4:00. Fine match. This show has just fallen into TNA's old habits of packing too much onto the show that an "unknown from the crowd" getting a title shot doesn't mean much when it should. (3/4*)
6 -- BEER MONEY (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM w/Miss Jackie) vs. TNA champion SAMOA JOE & KEVIN NASH
Nash started things off, then Joe tagged in and cleared the heels to the floor. Beer Money regrouped as they cut to break.
Beer Money was in control out of the break, working over Joe in center ring. Joe then made a comeback and walked over to his corner to make a tag, but he instead flipped off Nash and walked into a clothesline. Nash had enough and entered the ring on his own to land a double clothesline. Nash cleared Storm while Jackie handed some cuffs to Roode. Joe ducked a cuff-shot and tried to slap on the rear naked choke. Roode landed a mule kick with Hebner distracted (what a surprise!) and went for the pay-off, but Joe blocked and landed a kick to the head. Joe then finished off Roode with the Musclebuster in center ring. He made the cover for the win.
WINNERS: Joe & Nash in 8:00. Fine tag match to reinforce the issues between Nash and Joe. Not so fine for Beer Money, which picked up two losses tonight. And they're challenging for the tag titles at the PPV. (*)
Post-match: Nash slowly made his way back into the ring and he had a staredown with Joe. They jawed back and forth until Sting's music hit. Hm... Sting, apparently the camp counselor ready to solve their problems, was nowhere to be found. They suddenly cut to the rafters where Sting was shown staring blankly into the ring. 1998 called and it wants its gimmick back.
1 -- BEER MONEY (JAMES STORM & ROBERT ROODE w/Miss Jackie) vs. CHRIS SABIN & ALEX SHELLEY
Action broke down at 3:00 when Shelley took a hot tag, then Jackie hopped onto the apron with a beer bottle in hand. Shelley ducked an alcohol shot and Storm took it in the face. Shelley then quickly rolled up Storm for the pin and the win. So, the team challenging for the tag titles lost to a team in the World X Cup. Got it.
Post-match: Beer Money quickly cuffed Sabin and Shelley to corners of the ring and started whipping them with belts. Some referees tried to maintain order, but BM strapped them for good measure. Some people off the street sporting "Security" t-shirts tried to restore order, but they were quickly dismantled. They even went to the announce table and started whipping Don West. Beer Money grabbed Dave Penzer and tossed him into the ring. He started beating on him until Jim Cornette interrupted. Cornette said if they whip Penzer one more time, they'll both be fired. They cut to a shot of West selling a shoulder injury. Cornette said he's going to find the two most upset and po'ed off wrestlers he can find in the back to face Beer Money later tonight. West, having lost all objectivity years ago, said he hopes they kick the living crap out of Roode & Storm tonight.
WINNERS: Sabin & Shelley in 4:00 inconsequential minutes. Wrestling match happened and was quickly forgotten. Moving. (1/2*)
2 -- MOOSE vs. ROXXI -- Bimbo Brawl match
West said he's sending in his video on why he hates Roode & Storm. Tenay, in a laughably canned response, reminded West that TNA employees are not eligible for the Fan's Revenge. Action quickly spilled to the floor where Roxxi dumped Moose onto the floor. She then rammed a shopping cart into the corner ringpost and whipped Moose head-first into the cart. Back in the ring, Roxxi picked up a street sign and slammed it over Moose's exposed head. Why? Roxxi then picked up a chair and slammed it across her back. She missed with a second chair shot, then Moose finished her off with a DDT into the street sign. Roxxi came up bleeding from the forehead-area. They spent exactly one second on the blood, rendering it a waste.
WINNER: Roxxi in 4:00. (*)
3 -- REY BUCANERO vs. ALEX KOSLOV (w/Daivari) -- World X Cup match
Koslov quickly started the "Russia, Russia" chant, but Rey answered with a backbreaker and a series of arm drags. Koslov was knocked to the floor, but Koslov scampered back into the ring and nailed a flip dive on the floor. Back in the ring, Bucanero dropped Koslov on his head with a wheelbarrow slam. He then went up top and hit a sentaun dive for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Bucanero in 2:00 to earn 2 points. Disappointingly short. We didn't even get Koslov's dance-kick-dance-kick combo that is pure greatness. I guess they had to squeeze in 18 more Kurt Angle skits. (1/2*)
4 -- MILANO COLLECTION AT (w/Masato Yoshino) vs. CURRY MAN (w/Kaz)
Milano went up top early on, but Curry Man moved out of the way and started his comeback. They traded matrix-like counters before Milano nailed an enziguiri kick and measured Curry for a crescent kick that resulted in a nearfall. A moment of confusion for the referee led to Milano low-blowing Curry from behind. He then hit a twisting moonsault for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Milano in 4:00 to earn 2 points for Team Japan. From a viewer's perspective, too short and not enough background on Milano to care about this. (1/2*)
5 -- RAISHA SAEED (w/Knockouts champion Awesome Kong) vs. TAYLOR
Tenay said Taylor proposed to Jim Cornette last week. Check that, she proposed that she take out Raisha and she gets the title shot against Kong. Kong became involved early on and took out Taylor on the outside behind the ref's back. Raisha whipped Taylor into the ring steps before rolling her into the ring. Raisha tried to finish her with a moonsault, but Taylor made a comeback with a series of clotheslines. After another distraction, Taylor managed to execute a German Suplex with a bridge on Raisha. Ref re-entered the ring and made the count for the three count to give Taylor a title shot next week.
WINNER: Taylor in 4:00. Fine match. This show has just fallen into TNA's old habits of packing too much onto the show that an "unknown from the crowd" getting a title shot doesn't mean much when it should. (3/4*)
6 -- BEER MONEY (ROBERT ROODE & JAMES STORM w/Miss Jackie) vs. TNA champion SAMOA JOE & KEVIN NASH
Nash started things off, then Joe tagged in and cleared the heels to the floor. Beer Money regrouped as they cut to break.
Beer Money was in control out of the break, working over Joe in center ring. Joe then made a comeback and walked over to his corner to make a tag, but he instead flipped off Nash and walked into a clothesline. Nash had enough and entered the ring on his own to land a double clothesline. Nash cleared Storm while Jackie handed some cuffs to Roode. Joe ducked a cuff-shot and tried to slap on the rear naked choke. Roode landed a mule kick with Hebner distracted (what a surprise!) and went for the pay-off, but Joe blocked and landed a kick to the head. Joe then finished off Roode with the Musclebuster in center ring. He made the cover for the win.
WINNERS: Joe & Nash in 8:00. Fine tag match to reinforce the issues between Nash and Joe. Not so fine for Beer Money, which picked up two losses tonight. And they're challenging for the tag titles at the PPV. (*)
Post-match: Nash slowly made his way back into the ring and he had a staredown with Joe. They jawed back and forth until Sting's music hit. Hm... Sting, apparently the camp counselor ready to solve their problems, was nowhere to be found. They suddenly cut to the rafters where Sting was shown staring blankly into the ring. 1998 called and it wants its gimmick back.
WWE Smackdown Results: 7-4-08
Results courtesy of PWTorch.com (direct link to Park's report). Condensed to in-ring results plus the end of show...
1- MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. VICTORIA vs. CHERRY vs. MARYSE vs. KELLY KELLY- GOLDEN DREAMS MATCH
Things spilled to the outside almost immediately. Cherry suplexed Vicotria off the top rope. Maryse went for the gold star, but Kelly and Cherry brought her down and gave her the electric chair. Cherry and Kelly traded pulling each other off the ropes to stop each other from getting the star. Natalya did guest commentary, and she seemed pretty competent. Victoria did a slingshot legdrop into the ring and onto Cherry. Victoria almost got to the star, but was stopped by Michelle. She ended up getting the star, winning the match and a future match with Natalya for the Divas Championship.
WINNER: Michelle, at 3:24.
2- CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER vs. JESSE & FESTUS
Much like Santa Festus around Christmastime, Festus was dressed as Uncle Sam for the Fourth of July. He took out Hawkins & Ryder, then tagged in Jesse. After taking Jesse to the outside of the ring, the heels took over on offense. Jesse finally fought off Ryder to make the tag, and the Corn-fed Colossus went to work. Big right hands and a shoulderblock did most of the damage. Powerslam by Festus, then he flap-jacked Ryder for the win.
WINNERS: Jesse & Festus, at 3:20. OK match, but where have Jesse & Festus been?
3- JEFF HARDY vs. JOHN MORRISON
Jeff knocked down Morrison as things started slowly. Hardy flipped out of a wrist-lock and threw Morrison out of the ring. He then hit a cross-body off the apron onto Morrison. Hardy got the ten-punch count in the corner on his opponent. Morrison ran over Hardy with a knee to the face to get a two-count. Morrison blocked a mule kick and tossed Hardy out of the ring. He looked in pain as the show went to break.
Morrison had Hardy well-grounded out of break. Hardy got a roll-up out of nowhere for two, but Morrison was back on the attack. Hardy countered Morrison coming off the top with a powerbomb. Whisper in the Wind for two. Morrison tried to hit his finisher, but Hardy countered with a face-buster. Swanton hit by Hardy, who picked up the victory.
WINNER: Hardy, at 12:48. Good TV match between these two. Morrison has really improved as a singles guy in the last year or two.
4- UMAGA vs. FUNAKI
Poor Funaki. Umaga immediately took his opposition down, then whipped him chest-first into the turnbuckle. Big superkick followed that up. Umaga dragged Funaki into the corner, then did the running butt splash. Thumb to the throat finished it.
WINNER: Umaga, at 1:58. Good match to showcase Umaga, but may be a bit too similar to Kozlov in squashing guys, though they have a bit different styles.
5- MR. KENNEDY vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CHAVO GUERRERO vs. MATT HARDY-FOURTH OF JULY FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH FOR THE UNITED STATES TITLE
Could’ve used some mic work from one of these guys to hype this match. Mick Foley mentioned that his son, Dewey’s favorite wrestler is Shelton Benjamin. This is one fall to a finish. Matt and Kennedy hooked up, and Kennedy hit a roundhouse kick. Kennedy hit corner clotheslines on Chavo, then Hardy. Out of nowhere, Benjamin nearly took Kennedy’s head off with a kick. Spinning headscissors by Chavo took Shelton down. All four men had a battle of roll-ups that must have really tired out referee Jim Korderas. Double-clothesline by Kennedy and Hardy. The show went to break after a hot start to the match.
Kennedy went up top to meet Matt, but Shelton powerbombed them both off. Chavo went for the cover on Matt and only got two. He then tried, again unsuccessfully, to pin Kennedy. Bam Neely put Chavo’s leg on the ropes to break up a pin by Shelton. Benjamin then went after him up the aisle while Chavo hit the Three Amigos on Matt. Chavo was going to go for a frogsplash, but Kennedy cut him off. Chavo threw him down, hit the frogsplash, but his pin was broken up by Kennedy. Matt back body-dropped Kennedy onto Neely at ringside. Nothing but pin break-ups here. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate on Benjamin onto Chavo, who he pinned to retain the title.
WINNER: Hardy, at 10:20. Exciting first part of the match, but the last few minutes were just tired guys breaking up pins.
-Edge came out, with no music. Chants of “you suck” before he even spoke into the mic. He said this would be his first and last public statement about what happened on Raw. He said he was the victim of two cowardly attacks Monday night. He got frustrated as he began to talk about losing the belt, and called it not fair to him. The only solace he has, he said, is knowing that he’d beat Triple H at Great American Bash. Edge tore into Hawkins & Ryder, saying he brought them up from nothing and made them. He said he’s standing in the ring alone, but he’ll battle through this with everything he has. He noted that even Vickie isn’t standing by him in his time of need. Edge was ready to dish some dirty little secrets about Vickie when she came out, sans wheelchair.
She said the people don’t deserve to hear about their private life. She was screeching, asking what he thought he was doing. Edge said that was a good question. He then left the ring and started walking up the ramp. He met up with Vickie on the top of the ramp. He said the wedding was off. Vickie began to scream and make faces that appeared to be her crying. Jeez, I would run backstage if I was in that situation. She took her ring off and threw it to the ground. She continued to cry and shout as the show ended.
1- MICHELLE MCCOOL vs. VICTORIA vs. CHERRY vs. MARYSE vs. KELLY KELLY- GOLDEN DREAMS MATCH
Things spilled to the outside almost immediately. Cherry suplexed Vicotria off the top rope. Maryse went for the gold star, but Kelly and Cherry brought her down and gave her the electric chair. Cherry and Kelly traded pulling each other off the ropes to stop each other from getting the star. Natalya did guest commentary, and she seemed pretty competent. Victoria did a slingshot legdrop into the ring and onto Cherry. Victoria almost got to the star, but was stopped by Michelle. She ended up getting the star, winning the match and a future match with Natalya for the Divas Championship.
WINNER: Michelle, at 3:24.
2- CURT HAWKINS & ZACK RYDER vs. JESSE & FESTUS
Much like Santa Festus around Christmastime, Festus was dressed as Uncle Sam for the Fourth of July. He took out Hawkins & Ryder, then tagged in Jesse. After taking Jesse to the outside of the ring, the heels took over on offense. Jesse finally fought off Ryder to make the tag, and the Corn-fed Colossus went to work. Big right hands and a shoulderblock did most of the damage. Powerslam by Festus, then he flap-jacked Ryder for the win.
WINNERS: Jesse & Festus, at 3:20. OK match, but where have Jesse & Festus been?
3- JEFF HARDY vs. JOHN MORRISON
Jeff knocked down Morrison as things started slowly. Hardy flipped out of a wrist-lock and threw Morrison out of the ring. He then hit a cross-body off the apron onto Morrison. Hardy got the ten-punch count in the corner on his opponent. Morrison ran over Hardy with a knee to the face to get a two-count. Morrison blocked a mule kick and tossed Hardy out of the ring. He looked in pain as the show went to break.
Morrison had Hardy well-grounded out of break. Hardy got a roll-up out of nowhere for two, but Morrison was back on the attack. Hardy countered Morrison coming off the top with a powerbomb. Whisper in the Wind for two. Morrison tried to hit his finisher, but Hardy countered with a face-buster. Swanton hit by Hardy, who picked up the victory.
WINNER: Hardy, at 12:48. Good TV match between these two. Morrison has really improved as a singles guy in the last year or two.
4- UMAGA vs. FUNAKI
Poor Funaki. Umaga immediately took his opposition down, then whipped him chest-first into the turnbuckle. Big superkick followed that up. Umaga dragged Funaki into the corner, then did the running butt splash. Thumb to the throat finished it.
WINNER: Umaga, at 1:58. Good match to showcase Umaga, but may be a bit too similar to Kozlov in squashing guys, though they have a bit different styles.
5- MR. KENNEDY vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CHAVO GUERRERO vs. MATT HARDY-FOURTH OF JULY FATAL FOUR-WAY MATCH FOR THE UNITED STATES TITLE
Could’ve used some mic work from one of these guys to hype this match. Mick Foley mentioned that his son, Dewey’s favorite wrestler is Shelton Benjamin. This is one fall to a finish. Matt and Kennedy hooked up, and Kennedy hit a roundhouse kick. Kennedy hit corner clotheslines on Chavo, then Hardy. Out of nowhere, Benjamin nearly took Kennedy’s head off with a kick. Spinning headscissors by Chavo took Shelton down. All four men had a battle of roll-ups that must have really tired out referee Jim Korderas. Double-clothesline by Kennedy and Hardy. The show went to break after a hot start to the match.
Kennedy went up top to meet Matt, but Shelton powerbombed them both off. Chavo went for the cover on Matt and only got two. He then tried, again unsuccessfully, to pin Kennedy. Bam Neely put Chavo’s leg on the ropes to break up a pin by Shelton. Benjamin then went after him up the aisle while Chavo hit the Three Amigos on Matt. Chavo was going to go for a frogsplash, but Kennedy cut him off. Chavo threw him down, hit the frogsplash, but his pin was broken up by Kennedy. Matt back body-dropped Kennedy onto Neely at ringside. Nothing but pin break-ups here. Hardy hit the Twist of Fate on Benjamin onto Chavo, who he pinned to retain the title.
WINNER: Hardy, at 10:20. Exciting first part of the match, but the last few minutes were just tired guys breaking up pins.
-Edge came out, with no music. Chants of “you suck” before he even spoke into the mic. He said this would be his first and last public statement about what happened on Raw. He said he was the victim of two cowardly attacks Monday night. He got frustrated as he began to talk about losing the belt, and called it not fair to him. The only solace he has, he said, is knowing that he’d beat Triple H at Great American Bash. Edge tore into Hawkins & Ryder, saying he brought them up from nothing and made them. He said he’s standing in the ring alone, but he’ll battle through this with everything he has. He noted that even Vickie isn’t standing by him in his time of need. Edge was ready to dish some dirty little secrets about Vickie when she came out, sans wheelchair.
She said the people don’t deserve to hear about their private life. She was screeching, asking what he thought he was doing. Edge said that was a good question. He then left the ring and started walking up the ramp. He met up with Vickie on the top of the ramp. He said the wedding was off. Vickie began to scream and make faces that appeared to be her crying. Jeez, I would run backstage if I was in that situation. She took her ring off and threw it to the ground. She continued to cry and shout as the show ended.
__________________
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"Everything will surely be all right." 「絶対大丈夫だよ。」, "Zettai daijōbu da yo."
ComicBloc: When you don't read comics, you help the enemy.
-------------------------
"Everything will surely be all right." 「絶対大丈夫だよ。」, "Zettai daijōbu da yo."
ComicBloc: When you don't read comics, you help the enemy.
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