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A life of Sorrow!

In a small village not far from the ocean there lives a small broken family. The family only has a grandmother, grandfather, a 15 year old girl, and a 10 year old girl. There are a few animals, but then they live on a farm. Now then let's get this show on the road. " Azula, Azula, where are you child?" shouts Grandmother Lanais. "I am coming, grandmother" shouts Azula climbing the stairs trying not to trip on her skirt. " You are so slow Azula. Not to mention not very graceful." says Grandmother Lanais as she stares at the fallen Azula on her bedroom floor. " Thanks for all your support grandmother." says Azula as she gets up.' You know how much I want to be a dancer, but with my ungraceful legs it shall never happen." says Azula as she sits on the edge of her grandmother's bed. "Nonsense my dear. One day you shall be the most graceul, most beautiful, and most splendid dancer in  all of the world. You will be just like your mother was and you know we will all be watching and cheering you on." says her grandmother. " Yes, but what shall we do with that tomboy wanna be, Angle?" says Azula as Angle walks in with a tray full of food." What was that, Azula?" says Angle as she sits the tray down on a little table over her grandmother's lap. " Oh, nothing Angle. Me and grandmother were just talking about my dream of being a great dancer one day." says Azula reaching for her sandwhich on the tray in front of their grandmother. " Yes and I hope to become the greatest fighter in all the world. Grandfather has been teaching me how to use a sword. He says I have been geting much better at my hand-to-hand combat." says Angle happily while munching on some crackers. " Angle, child it is time to practice, my child." says Grandfather Merck from the bottom of the stairs. "Coming grandfather." says Angle getting up and running down stairs. Angle and her grandfather go outside and walk down to the pond where her grandfather and her normally practice. "Ok, get ready, Angle." says her grandfather. "What shall we practice first, grandfather?" says Angle. " Let's work a little on your hand-to-hand combat, Angle." says her grandfather getting into posistion. Angle takes her position and waits to see if her grandfather will strike first or not. He comes at her and she defends herself. They keep going until her grandfather strikes her down and she has to get back up. She gets up and they keep going until they run out of breath. "Ok, that is enough of your hand-to-hand combat. Lets work on your swordsmanship" says her grandfather reaching for his sword. " Grandfather do you here that screaming? It is getting louder." says Angle looking into the woods. A man comes out holding the back of Azula's shirt." Does this brat belong to you Merck?" says the man. "Yes, Morris. That is my older grand-daughter. I would appreciate it very much if you would put her down." says Angle's grandfather. A man comes up behind Angle and grabs her before she could turn to punch him. "Ah, grandfather." says Angle struggling to get from the man's grip. "Let my girls go, now Morris." says grandfather. "I will fight you for them. I could use a couple of cute girls in my group." says Morris. " What are your terms?" says grandfather. " We fight with swords. First one badly injured looses. If you loose I get the girls. If I loose your debt is filled." says Morris " Agreed?" says Morris. " Agreed." says grandfather. Morris and grandfather fight. Grandfather cuts Morris a great bit, but nothing serious. Finally grandfather slices a deep cut in Morris's gut, but Morris remains standing. Morris stabs grandfather right into the gut. Grandfather falls and can't get back up. Morris tells the man to release me and Azula. "I will be back tomorrow morning for the girls. Have  good night, Merck." says Morris as he walks away. Me and Azula take grandfather back home and bandage him up. That night grandmother died. "The next morning is going to be hard, Azula." says Angle as she lays in bed next to Azula. "Yeah, it is. Angle, but we will get through it together. " says Azula next to Angle. I layed there next to Azula all night waiting for he sun to rise. I could not sleep a wink. The sun finally rose and I walked to our grandparents room and waited outside the door. I guess I was waiting and hoping that grandmother would wake up or that the men wouldn't come. I felt sick to my stomache from worrying. I stayed there till Azula woke up to go eat breakfast.

To be continued.....


Ok, I think this story shall be better. I am working on this for my journaling class in school. Be honest on your opinion, :)!

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Added 2006-12-31 14:16:50
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man that was crazy, why would he gamble his grandchildren????

2007-09-18 11:58:15


a few problems with the story: 1: does no one put stuff in paragraphs anymore? 2: a bit of grammar and punctuation 3: changing of points of view 4: almost no detail at all otherwise its ok, and i am going to read some more

2007-07-04 20:17:39


Very good idea! But, may I suggest that you stick to one view point and perhaps picture the scenes in your head. From there you can draw your details! That's what I do!!! ^_^ But, over all I really liked it!!! On to the next part!!! *Hops off like superman to the next part*

2007-06-25 11:08:53


cool now 2 the part 2

2007-06-25 08:03:52


ok, so i just read this (the first half of your story) and i thought that the story idea was good, but it lacked a little in detail. i remember that you said that you were trying to get more detail, so i was hoping to see what you had learned... oh well. uh, i have a quick question though, why did you switch from 3rd to 1st person like halfway throught the story?

2007-06-23 23:58:04


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