I wrote:

I once read a fiction that was about five lines long. It had no grammatical worth... and there was a hissing spider (?). Yet, it got over a bamilliondy views and healthy amount of pops... stupid worthless fiction

Calamari wrote:

I think that as long as you include the following elements in your story, you are sure to get pops. 1. Gratuitous kissing scenes. In the middle of a battle? Who cares? Let's have a kissing scene! 2. Gratuitous details. Her hair was the color of a black crow flying at midnight in a moonless sky and her eyes were the color of emeralds from the deepest depths of the sea... Who cares that the descriptions make no sense? 3. Completely unlikely pairings. Kakashi-Naruto? Edward Elric-Nina? Rain-Sharem? If you can name them in the same breath, someone has paired them. 4. Symbolism and/or deep-ness. If you write a story about your tortured soul, you'll be showered with praise. Solution: Write a Kuzon-Fatman yaoi fiction with gratuitous details and plenty about their tortured childhoods. (^_^) Am I right?

I wrote:

How's this sound? "Kuzon could feel the weight of Fatman's lusty stare fall on him. They gripped each other tightly, never wanting the moment to end." *vomits*

Calamari wrote:

Oh, I also forgot: 5. Random Japanese phrases! Throw in some random Japanese phrases (spelled totally wrong) that make no sense (and the story isn't even set in Japan), and you have a recipe for a really popular fiction!

ED says:

XCPP Another thing that will make it popular is if it has character death. Lots and lots of it. Which means Kuzon has to die tragically... *ebil laff*

I wrote:

Kuzon felt very tingly around the obese nude man. He knew that something was going to happen, for he could feel it deep inside of him... When suddenly, Fatman's head exploded, revealing him to actually be a Japanese phrase spouting fan boy! "Konnichiwaaaa Kuzon-kun. Will you be my onee-san?"

Calamari wrote:

Kuzon staggered backward a few paces, staring at the fan boy. The fan boy had hair the color of the sea at midnight when you're looking at it through cheap, purple-tinted binoculars that you can buy at the dime store on the corner which is run by the old man who smells kind of funny, but you love him anyway since he gives you that peppermint stick which he was keeping under the counter for you, waiting for you to come in. His eyes were as sparkly as a bottle of sparkling mineral water which has gone flat, so it isn't very sparkly, but that's the point I'm trying to make, that this fan boy's eyes were dull, dull, dull, but I didn't want to say it that way, so I decided to make up a smart analogy. Smart, ne? Anyway, the fan boy was also covered in blood, but that's not really that important.

I wrote:

The blood-covered fanboy decided to break into a rendition of "Oh Danny Boy". He chanted the sad song beautifully to Kuzon, scaring the hell out of him. "You can't sing worth poop!" Kuzon gave him a big kiss on the soul. The mortified fanboy, whose name was really Lucretia, was really offended, or in other words, not very happy at all, which means that Lucretia, the fanboy, was actually not a very happy camper. "Hey, do you like Naruto?" The fanboy asked. "OMG OMG I LURVE NARUTOS.... GAARA ISH HOTTIEZ." Some stupid fangirl said...

ED wrote:

"Naruto?" Kuzon repeated, thinking back on when he'd first met- and crushed- on the Shinobi. Little did he realize that the fanboy was telepathic, and could read minds too. The fanboy grew jealous instantaniously. "I'll kill that poophead!" Before he could carry out this mission, a kamakazi watermelon fell from the sky and hit Kuzon on the head, knocking him to the ground. He lay on the floor like a ragdoll would lie on the floor if they were people.

Calamari wrote:

Kuzon woked up 6 hrs later, only to discovers that a big, golden eye will be hover over him. The big, golden eye belongs 2 none other than Edward Elric, who is not short and if you say he is I will KEEL U! "Hi, Kuzon," Ed say, aloofedly, flipping his long, blonde hare. "Hi, Ed," had said Kuzon, who was staring at the legion of screaming fangirls tearing toward them. "NUUUU!" a fangirl scream "ED IZ MYNE!!!!!!!!!" "Quick!" say Ed, "2 teh batmobile!"

I wrote:

the batmanmobile was really cool it was black and ed lol he is short and kuzon ride in it to get away from fangrils lol so then they decide to go and kill something whO???????????????MMMM??????? it was gir! i love gir gir is so cool! so then they all died and gir was like i like tacos

plz pop this, i tired relly relly hrd n it!