Because of the party, my grandparents, godfather, cousins and aunt and uncle flew in from Florida. It did me no good because I only saw them at the party as well as everyone else who had attended. I did not get to spend any time with them at all like I had liked to. And my grandma left the day before the Fine and Performing Arts Festival at my school, so she never saw my artwork on display nor did I have the chance to make her listen to Snow Patrol like I said I would.

As for the party I dreaded, it was notorious. When Mother's Day had finally arrived, I was so eager. That morning Harmony was making her First Communion. She looked so beautiful all dressed in white, just like a miniature bride. She even wore Mama's wedding veil. She and the other communicants sat in their pews and sang and participated in the sacred ceremony. When the communicants were singing their final song in which they held sunflowers and would walk out of the church, the priest turned away from the parishioners and when he turned back with his arms waving side to side, he wore a sunflower mask on his face. The ceremony was nice, but I was most fervent about the party meant for both Harmony and I. It was a commemoration for Harmony's communion and a Sweet 16 for me three weeks in advance.

The party was at the Firehouse. No, not an actual firehouse, a restaurant called the Firehouse. The first person I saw before even entering the restaurant was Nathan. He helped Mama and I lug a few things into the place. The two of us began to place the favors on the table. We'd only filled two tables and we almost were out. Then we realized we'd set the arrangement of the favors incorrectly. We fixed them and when we'd gotten to the last table, we ran out of favors. That meant I'd need to run home to get more. And the DJ couldn't find my song I wanted to play as I made my toasts. So I needed to run home for Harmony's Hilary Duff CD, too. Nathan looked about the room. The only ones there so far were only members of my family and Nathan didn't want to stay by himself with people he didn't know. As the two of us made our way out the door towards Daddy's car, Mimi had just arrived. I smiled at her and told her we'd be back soon. Nathan was excited about the drive. He'd never been to my house before. When we went upstairs to get Harmony's CD, Nathan got a chance to check out my room. It was a slight mess, not much at all. He understood now what I meant when I say, "I keep banging my head against the ceiling" as he saw my bed under the low ceiling. I'd just rearranged all the furniture in my room two weeks before. But what I think Nathan was most astounded with was the size of the computer monitor on my desk. He thought it was huge. It's only 19-inches.

We drove back and when Daddy, Nathan and I walked in, Mama was standing there. I handed her the CD. At that precise moment, Daddy began to argue with Mama. He didn't even have the decency to wait until Nathan and I had gone into the banquet hall. They stood arguing and didn't stop. I took the CD back from Mama and grabbed Nathan by the hand.

"Come on, Nathan. Let's finish placing the favors on the table," I said dragging him along.

"I can see your parents really hate each other," he whispered to me as we entered the banquet hall. I kept silent. As we approached the final table, I greeted my cousins and saw Mimi sitting with Mike and Eric and their mother. After the favors were set, I gave the DJ the CD and took a seat by Mama by the drinks. Mike came up to get soda.

"Mike, Mama's got a bone to pick with you," I said.

"No calls, you're never home. What happened? And where’s my Mother's Day present? You know you're my son," she scolded.

"Um, I don't have a present for you, but I'll get you one," he answered as he took a seat on the other side of Mama. Then, Meli, Mimi, Eric and Nathan walked up to us and stood around Mama. Mimi looked at me.

"Um, Onee-chan? Who are they?" she asked gesturing to my cousin and mother.

"That's my cousin, Meli and this is my mama."

"What's this?" Mama questioned glancing around at the faces. "I talk to Mike and everyone else comes. Guess that's 'cause I'm the cool mom!"

"She's your mom?!" Mimi was shocked. "No way! She's too young!" Mama shot a smile at her and I heard Meli and Nathan laugh.

"I told you that you guys look like sisters," Mike addressed me.

"Aw, Mike. Worst thing you could've said. Now you're in big trouble!" I scolded.

"She hates it when people say that," Mama whispered to my friends.

We all ate and then the DJ pulled a chair out into the center of the dance floor. Mama told me to sit in it. "Butterfly Kisses" played softly in the background.

"Oh no," I whispered as I sat down, "The moment I've dreaded." Harmony carried my heels on a pillow to Daddy who stood in front of me. Daddy slipped my ballerina flats off and changed them to my heels. The music changed to "Dance With My Father." I stood up and Daddy started dancing with me.

"Our Sweet 16 has transformed from a little girl into a woman," announced the DJ. I laughed uneasily the whole time as I danced. Nathan's eyes wouldn't stop surveying me. Everyone's eyes were on me and my cousin was video taping it all. When that song finished, another played in which I danced with my mother. I still laughed nervously but not as much as before. Then, it was Harmony's turn to dance with Daddy. After, I made my sixteen toasts.

There were tears and laughs just like from a movie. Nathan, Mimi, Meli, Mike, Eric and I all danced together to all sorts of music. I was surprised that Meli and Nathan were getting along so well. All my cousins and my friends, as well as some of the adults, enjoyed participating in some of the games the DJ prepared for us. We had a blast and for a full week, my party was the only thing people could talk about.

Shortly after the party, on the fourth of June, was my real sixteenth birthday. That weekend, Daddy and I headed to New York upon my request. I got to go to the Pokemon Center, the Atom Cafe which was featured in Anime Insider for being the first manga cafe in New York, the Kinokuniya Japanese bookstore that had also been advertised in A.I. and Chinatown. The Atom Cafe was an pleasurable experience, but a one-time occasion. The Pokemon Center was nice and sleek, very modern. The center resided within the Nintendo World shopping headquarters. I loved Kinokuniya! They had such a vast collection of manga in English plus all the books they had written in Japanese. They sold anime DVDs and CDs for my favorite Japanese artists. But even better, they sold Pocky, which is my all-time favorite Japanese snack, as well as Prech, which I haven’t tried yet, and a whole bunch of anime goodness such as wall scrolls, figurines, backpacks, etc. It was any otaku's dream second to being in Japan. I fell in love with the store. I would like to go back there again soon. And in Chinatown, I was looking for a specific anime hot spot Sin, a friend of mine, told me about. Of course, the place Sin told me to go to was closed for the day. But Chinatown itself was wonderful. It wasn't as loud as Little Italy but was still very exciting. Actually, my overall trip to New York was thrilling. This was the first time I actually got to observe the city of Manhattan as a tourist, plus I took the subway for the first time. It was such an adventure. I took the train to New Jersey and walked from the Metropark Train Station home. It was so dark and there weren't any sidewalks but rather many cars. I just really wanted to get home. It had been a long day and I was sweaty and sticky. I wanted to take a cold shower and go to bed. And that's what had happened when I'd finally gotten home. Oh, I was so drained. So much fun and all the energy is extinguished!

Then, back to work! "Fun, fun." I had to study so much. I had final exams coming up which I wasn't too cheerful about, but it was to be expected. My art final went as usual, a slice of pie. Spanish final, well it's natural! The geometry final was a breeze! My math teacher had given us the questions and the answers the day before. All I had to do was memorize it all! And then the biology final. I think I did well. Chris was exempt from the final, the lucky devil. And I wouldn't see him again until next year because the biology final was also on my last day of school. After the final was finished, Jimmy and I chilled out. He slept through half of the exam so I had to wait forever for him to finish. We watched some videos on his Chocolate cell and then we listened to My Chemical Romance and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus on my iPod. Twenty minutes before school would end for me until September, I decided to write my number on Jimmy's hand so we could keep in touch.

"What are you doing?" Jimmy asked.

"I'm writing my number down so we could keep in touch."

"Why didn't you say so?" He punched a few keys on his cell. "Okay, what's your number, Ren?" I dictated the number and he punched the keys. I gave him a big smile as I checked the time.

"Only twenty more minutes and then my vacation begins!"

"You're not coming tomorrow?" he asked.

"No," I answered.

"Well, I guess this will be the last time I see you."

"What do you mean? I'll see you and Chris next year." Jimmy and Chris are juniors. Since I'm a sophomore, I should see them next year when they're seniors, unlike Sin who would be graduating in the next two days.

"Today's my last day of school ever. I'll be starting college next year." I couldn't comprehend it. He had just one year of high school left. To get into college, you have to have a diploma and four years of high school, right? I just don't get it. Or so I'd thought at the time. Soon after, I'd found out you can enter college as an undergraduate in 10th or 11th grade. If you can do that, why bother going through four years of high school for a stupid diploma? But not seeing Jimmy again made me sad. We'd had such a great time hanging out together in the past half-year. At that moment, when the bell rang indicating it was already 2:30pm, I felt such a swift breeze of despair waft over me. Everyone, slowly, was disappearing. I hate that. Nothing, from the time that bell rang, would ever be the same.

I'd wished I could return to the days when I knew I felt alive. Recently, I've felt dead. Have you ever wished to reveal the way you felt when you could look inside? I mean really look and see the person you are? My image is becoming more and more vague and I feel with each passing second, my identity is slipping. There's a sullen riot penetrating my mind. I'm novocaine, I'm numb and nothing's real. Can you feel the animosity? The walls grow like a fortess around my ever gentle heart. If only, if only...I need a way to break the walls that build atrophy and cause all these distasteful problems to cecede.

Everyone just wants to be the Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes or maybe I just have some sort of attraction and magnetism for such a kind. Really, I wish someone could tell me what kind of magnetism do I display that attracts those I have past mentioned to my attention. I do not obey the puppet master for I have no strings for you to be pulling upon. But it seems like the lies weaved from their slit tongues is trying to lead me into a misconstrue. Why should I welcome your domination? What makes you think I'll let you wear the pants? These are mine. Such devils, under false pretense you've left me so now I'm lying here where you left me. And you wonder why I won't get up...Maybe it's because of the damage you've caused to the fragility of a soul that keeps me bound. The damage is done and maybe to you it is possible to be healed, possibly by your charm, but it's just not that simple, do you not see? I can't just stand up on my own two feet again so easily. Don't you see what is happening? I'm losing everyone I love and being played by those who claim they care. I carry the weight like a ball and chain. And even knowing all this, you still try to charm me and work your way through me. Did I hear you stutter? You better watch your mouth because I'm finding that your speech is slurred just enough that you may swallow that slit tongue of yours. And if you haven't noticed, you best be more careful because with the way you've been talking, oh darling, every word just gets you a step closer to hell...If I don't send you there first...I'm so in love with all these vampires as I bare my own fangs, so why honey, didn't you know? You can leave like the same that have abandoned me. I don't require your blood, best you know. I don't like the negative type...