My cousins told me I wouldn't like my Junior year, I didn't imagine it would be this bad. I don't spend any time with anyone from last year. At school, I only hang out with the Seniors. Everytime I think of it that way, my heart fills with saddness knowing that they will all be gone next year. But I've got to keep the present in mind. This is my last year with them. I must make the best of it.

Because Misha had asked me to, and even though I wasn't too keen on the idea, I attended the Halloween Masquerade with them. I knew the year after, I'd never be able to. I can't let any moment slip past me, because I may never get those moments back. And I can't waste my time focusing on the future or dwelling in the past because I will miss living in the present. I miss my chances and I will regret it for life.

I spent most of the night searching for Misha and the others in the dark, dimly lit gym. It was so disgusting in there, all sweaty with all the rave-like dancing...One of my friends had taken off his shirt because it was so hot and gave me a hug while we were it the obscure gym. Normally I love hugs...but I honestly would have loved it better if he hadn't given me a hug. Normally, I would've been "Yes!! Go ahead!! Hug me while you're shirtless!!" But he had been drenched in sweat and it was the most disgusting thing ever. But I did enjoy the time I'd spent with Misha and the others. We danced like nobody was watching, and laughed like we couldn't be heard...Hell, we even sang! But if I had stayed with Misha the entire time instead of splitting up my time with my other friends, I would have enjoyed myself more. But no, most of my precious time was wasted searching. Oh well, it's a thing of the past now.

When December had rolled around, Misha invited me to her house for her birthday. I was so exicited and had such a great time!! I was pretty quiet though. But that's just me...I'm all shy until I feel confortable enough to let loose!! Whoo!! Let's party!! Heh, but back to my story...

It was then that Misha and my friendship deepened. Slowly, I was begining to trust her and I believed she would not be the kind of friend that turned out to be like Lily and Sergio...I could actually imagine her being the kind of friend that would stick around even after high school. And I owed her so much. Misha began to pull me into situations that made me become a bit more outgoing. I had someone to spend to with instead of my usually nights with the tv or out by myself.

Friendship...The word had a whole new valuable meaning to it...It wasn't dead...It wasn't non-existant. Friendship was alive and well and I was being blessed. Being alone for so long...Companionship had become something I cherished. For the lack of my family's presence, personally through my eyes, it was if they'd died long ago, social interaction felt rather nice.

Even though I'd become a bit more sociable, it wasn't enough to make me smile or laugh again...On the inside, my heart was still frozen to the core. I was still empty and even though my tainted wings were growing lighter with each day, I still had no will to fly. I had no intention of flying, not yet....My life was over and I was begining anew...An entire new Ren was being born. But it lacked a trigger to make the wheels truely turn, for at the moment, the wheels of my fated life spun as if they were in dire need of oil. It was true that my life was moving forward, that I was inching away from the door I'd been stuck in between, but I could not say I'd recovered. The angel had kept me alive, and for that I am greatful. Misha pushed my soul to live again, and for that I am forever indebted. But still, something is missing...Something very important...If only I knew what it was....