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I f***ed up!!!....i think?

hi eveyone longtime no talk! well my live is just been ripped in f***ng half. My grandpa the one in pervios fic:pain, Put my mom in jail saing she abused and neglecticed me and my sis, which is soooooo not F-ing true!!! shes been in the hospitol with my 'dad' who was in a wreack and was in ICP!!! So while she was in there i was with my 'dad's' mom. Who i slowly found out was helping my F-uped grandpa! Finally My mom begged and cried to my papa (grandpa) to let her out which he did but he also said that she would bow down to him and never see us agin! and if she ran he would KILL HER a.k.a US!!! Well....we ran with nothing but the clothes on our back and money in our pokets!

 

After a while we ended here the place im typing right now and finally i was able to type to my friends on face book here is the messages from it!

hi everyone just wanted to say sorry for not calling or anything which i will soon right now im cring missing yall im  in a hotel lobby cring while ppl stair i miss yall soooooooooooooooo much i really hope to see you soon i will be here tomorrow moringin (sp) til 2:30 god i miss yall and love you soo much!!! plez josh bubba and ray stay out of truoble (sp) lizzy brandy and naynay take care of everyone and say hey to jacob! and melmel Plez dont get killed by a 40 yr old dude who lives with his mom...........plez !!! well thats all the lady from the office just asked wast wrong so i might need to stop cring..............

I FU**ING LOVE YALL BIT**ES!!!!!!!!!!!!! bye bbye
now i will read books 5AND6 of loveless!!!!!!! wahahahahahahahahah love you bb!!!!
 
that was the frist mess that i sent here are other ones sent back...
 
omg where are you?-frend 1
 
Cant tell-meh
 
Why?-friend 2
 
just cant!-meh
 
oookkkkk....-2
 
why cant you tell
thats so f***ing dumb neshoba
you need to come back i dont give a darn what your mom says
i am serious.-1
 
............ look im sorry really i cant do any thing about it
but the sad part is she Bought an apartment............-meh

 

ok you know what that shows me what kind of friend you are neshoba you know all of us love you but your not gonna do s*** about it ok then thats cool but when your bottom wants to come back im not doing a thing.-1

i cant believe you dont trust us.-1

 

 

 

ok, neshoba i love you to death but quit acting like your the only one who's been depressed and suicidal and bipolar because your not the only one. your mom needs help, and as much as i love you, please stop complaining and cussing people out just because they shared their opinion because we're just trying to say that we care, ok? your like my sister and you know that but your bigger than us; big deal. we dont give a darn if your fat because we're your friends so why do you make a big deal about it. maybe we're wrong to jump your case but we're just trying to help.-2
 
my point exactly-1
 
:) we do love you neshoba
but people have it worse...trust me,
i know;; my brother could go to jail right now and he's thinking about not supporting his kid and completely ignoring me and you may not think thats a big deal but when he promised me he'd NEVER go to jail again and he would NEVER leave me or ignore me...it hurts, so youre not the only one who hurts-2
 
look you guy my mom wont do any thing to hurt us i wont let her and sorry for jumping down ur throut but i cant just tell my mom she f***ed up and i want to live some were else!!! that would seriosly break her and im sure some one has it worst but right now im hurt and sared and i hate being this way around yall becuse i feel i have to be strong and supportave and tell yall you can do it. just like for my mom. i really love yall i would die 4 yall right now if it came to that. i know im b**** but i hate to cry and have a sob story so i get pissed and yell witch is even worst. my mom has beengoing 2 meeting for help so i thing shes tring. but im so used of being the grown up and losing my childhood im tring to be strong and smart to help and protect everyone and im not wooried about myself. i hate that im not there 4 yall im tring but im scared to leave my mom. i really love you guys, josh ameila ray brandy bubba and both of you. ive been haveing dreams of everyone dieing and i wasnt there to save yall so i feel like its my falt. im not tring to sond like ur parents or any thing but this is how much i care for yall i love all of yall. maybe i skrewed up making yall worry about me, i hate it. but if yall had a choose of ur mom or ur grandparents who helped put ur mom in jail and only wonted u for money, and was never going to let u see ur friend after they had the money wat would you do. i dont know maybe i should have stayed or something but i was too caught up to thing if i should. so im sorry i guess i did skrew up and i hate it sorry.-meh
 
thank you 4 reading this s*** but i want to know did i f*** up? plez tell me if i did!

 

 
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 Added 2008-07-03 20:47:55
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