Hey everyone, what's up?  I apologize for the long wait but I thank everyone for your patience.  It's been hectic for me recently, I don't know why, but has been lol.  Thank you guys for your enthusiam in this upcoming episode I can't wait to see the responses for it.  This is going to be one of the darkest things you will read for Flat to date.  Well I don't want to ruin anything so here is episode 20.  We are only 4 episodes away from the finale so I hope you all enjoy it.  If you like it pop it, comment it or do whatever you want to show how much you love it.  Thank you and enjoy.

Flat:

Episode 20

 

“……why……how can she…”

 

-Shivering as he laid on his bed in the cold room he secluded himself in.  The eyes of a deep fallen angel pierced the remnants of his mind in search of God’s hand for shelter.  Sitting in the chasms of thought, wondering and soaking in the events of today.  His mind trailed off in what would be his last thoughts of Midori.  Seeing her in the kitchen, smiling and looking happy looking at him with the warmth of a mother.-

 

She was so happy…she was there…she was breathing…she was standing…she was warm… how could she be…dead…what cold hand could have taken her away from me…why…why was she…

 

-His trail had stopped short, the bread crumbs he had left behind were now gone and eaten by the crows that inhabited his thoughts.  His mind fell off the cliff and fell straight down into the rocks below.  The depths of the world had sunk him below the deepest hole in which no man could escape.  The light that had illuminated his world was now eclipsed by the moon that passed by it.  The world he knew as a sphere, was now, broken up, disoriented, and separated from the rest of anything else.  He felt alone, he felt isolated, he felt he wasn’t part of this world anymore.  Nothing was all right anymore.  He didn’t feel anyone at all, all the emotions he had felt for his mom, gone.  The love he had for her, that he threw away, gone.  What he believed to be happiness, gone.  All of it, gone.  Out the window and into the street below.  He didn’t know what to feel, angry, sad, hurtful, vengeful, happy, all these were nothing more to him then a feeling he had before.  He felt a new emotion, something most people don’t ever feel in their lives, some may have but none have ever felt this.  He felt, nothing.  Absolutely nothing, he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t happy, nor sad, nor angry, nor vengeful, nor hurtful, he felt empty.  Not the empty we feel where sadness is so great we think that as our only emotion and nothing else.  That wasn’t the case for Sota, he felt empty in the sense of being hollow, nothing more than a brain with a body.  A prisoner trapped a cell, a mouse caught in a cage.  That is what he felt, he felt no emotion at all, he stood there, like a robot, just thinking about everything.  He saw his mom, yelling at him more, he saw the plate edge gleaming in the thunder roar, he saw the expression of his mom as she almost ended his life, he saw all that, and more than anyone should see.  He felt his life, was no where.  His life was nothing.  His life was done.  The hell he had been waiting for was here all along.  His fragile body frail and weak sitting on the neat sheets that had been washed, the bed that was clean to the room that seem sterile compared to the dirty patch that was huddled on his bed.  The unclean filth that plagued the world he lived in was thinking and contemplating.  He couldn’t stand living anymore, he didn’t know what living was anymore.  He couldn’t see the ground that his feet were standing on.  He didn’t know, he didn’t know anything anymore…-

 

“Mommy mommy!”

“Yes Sota?”

 

-Shina smiled and giggled at Sota running up to his mother.  Smiling as the red orange sky was setting on the lovely day at the beach.  The sand illuminating the spectrum of the sun hitting the light brown grainy surface into a cascade of the light.  The water rippled in the wind towards Sota and Shina clearing the thoughts of the mind with the blue calm feeling as anyone feels when they look out into the water.  The sun, halfway down over the water, Shina smiling at her son with arms wide open, laughing and playing with her son, Sota, running up to her as the youth of children would do, running into the safety of the arms of their parents.  Laughing and enjoying the day more screaming…-

 

“Mommy mommy!”

 

-Again and again as he ran to her laughing and acting like a child.  Getting close to her, getting close to her warmth, her voice, her sound, her touch, everything a child loves about their mother.  With the world looking bright, every day as a night, the sun set and the beach glowed of an abyss black.  The kind of black that no one can see not even the tip of your nose you can see.  It was the black that everyone stayed from, but for little Sota, it was his destiny.  Running towards the safety of his mom as she seemed to be falling back into the darkness, her lovely smile shone as she faded with the shadows of the night…-

 

“Mommy mommy!  Don’t go!  Please mommy!  Don’t go!  I don’t want you to leave!  Why are you leaving mommy!  Don’t go!”

 

-Crying and holding out his hands to her trying to reach her as much as he could knowing, in the back of his mind, he couldn’t.  Watching her fade and completely diminish into the nothing cloud.  He fell forward to his knees squeezing the ground below.  Angry at the Earth as it took the only love away from him.  The Earth feeling the pains of the heart of the young feeling the rain of tears falls against its cheek.  Watching as the little boy cried and smothered himself in the sorrow and pain he had always felt deep down in his heart.  The region, the artery that lay dormant from pumping now beat more above the rest of his heart.  It started slow, throbbing and absorbing.  Thriving in him, feeling the pain that had started beating again, holding in pain against his chest that filled him with the blood it pumped.  Pulsating, throbbing, thriving off the sadness he had felt.  His eyes widen with pain, his mouth, open wide feeling the surge of what he was feeling.  The mind plagued him, tempting him with aspects and obstructions…-

 

Kill…kill…everyone you know is dead…everyone you love is dying…the people who cared for you don’t…everyone you know hates you…everyone you love is your enemy…

 

“Get out…of my…head!”

 

…love is all but an emotion…love doesn’t exist…if you love why does love never return…

 

“No…it’s not…true!”

 

…everything is a lie…everyone hates you…everyone is better off without you…that’s why they all left you…they were happier without you…

 

-Holding onto his head, ready to squeeze till it exploded.  Digging his nails into his scalp, trying to claw his way to the voice that had corrupted his everyday thought and babble.  He tried frantically to get to the voice, digging deeper to his scalp as it bled from the scratches he made.  He had enough, closing his eyes bearing the pain that felt like being stabbed over and over again.  He couldn’t contain it no longer, he had bear the pain for too long, all his thoughts, all his hate, all his anger, all his sadness, became a chain into his mind.  Adding a new link to it every time he began to think more…-

 

…love is a feeling of hope that never lasts…feeling is an abstract reality of thought…what’s the point in love if there is no one who loves you…

 

“No…no…no!  It’s not true!  Ahhhhhhhh!”

 

…you’re only fooling yourself…you know just as well…nothing ever lasts…

 

“Stop it!  Stop it!  It’s not true!  It’s not true!”

 

…if it isn’t true…why is Midori dead…why did your mother lie to you about her death…why did she leave the disfigurement  upon your face…

 

“No…no…no!”

 

…reality…is a life made up for you…no one changes…one person doesn’t change…everyone has to change for that dream to happen…if you really loved them...do you really love them…the lies that shared…the hate they kept…the anger they showed…

 

“…..”

 

-Sota stopped and listened to the voice.  Growing accustom to this as he dropped his hands to the ground.  Wanting to listen more to the words that have saved him.  Hypnotized by the voice that had spoke to him looking at the ground fearless and unsure listening more wanting to hear those comforting words of wisdom…-

 

…you know what must be done…you know how to get rid of all the lies…the hate…the anger…the passion in every scream…you know…how to change that…

 

-Sota looked upon the dark sterile room he had made, the sanctum for all that was lost to him, the inner walls that had enclosed now seemed the safety that he had always wanted.  The embrace of death that he solely wished for, the cold touch that he was waiting for had now come to him.   He didn’t give a darn anymore about anything.  It was him and that was all he saw in the world.  It was just him and that’s what he wanted.  Getting up from his bed and looking at the room that was home.  Looking at the window at the night beyond from the looking glass.  Looking at the door between warmth and death.  Walking over to it with no fear, gripping the doorknob lightly, not turning it yet, feeling and embracing the shiver that had brought him comfort.  Feeling the two had a lot in common, embracing as he twisted the barrier open.  Hearing the gears work and grind against each other, hearing the rust of an old worn knob as it clicked open.  Creaking open and opening to the world that had forgot him…-

 

“Shina…honey…tell me…what’s wrong?”

 

-Sakai looking over at Shina slowly, worrying about her more as she refused to speak to him since he got there.  There they both stood, frozen and cold, warming up under the covers together as Shina could do nothing more than hug him close and tight.  Wanting to feel his embrace, wanting to feel his warmth, the feeling that she was safe, something that she hadn’t felt before, since Dunaro…-

 

“Shina…tell me…you said you would you promise…now tell me…or else…”

 

-Slowly getting out of the bed going over to his clothes as she grabbed his arm and held it there for sometime staying silent, not wanting him to go but knew deep down he was worried about her, but, she didn’t want to tell him, not just yet.  He looked back at her and sighed looking down at the clothes that had been sprawled out onto the floor.  Looking at his sweaty glistened body gleam in the moonlight that had streaked in between the blinds in her room.  She kept silent though, not moving nor talking, just staring at the empty space that was his, holding onto his arm more, gripping as he slowly went back to the bed and put the covers over him.  He went back to her, back to her arms and hugged her comforting her pain more.  Knowing she wanted him, nothing else, she embraced him snuggling into his chest as her way of saying thank you to him.  Wanting him to not leave, to stay with her, for this rest of the night, together in the warmth that she had for him…-

 

“I know…I know…it’s ok Shina…you don’t have to say anything yet…I’ll wait…”

 

-Petting her head comforting as he felt the uneasiness again.  Something wasn’t right here, it was that feeling of everything was not right in the Gawa house.  His eyes was falling shut, slowly enjoying the sleep and night that was going to soothe him into what was now and forever the sleep he will remember, whether he wants to or not.  Struggling in his sleep feeling the depression of the loneliness he had felt as a kid before and even now.  Sitting in the middle of what he felt was the world and everyone around him passing him by.  The faces were recognizable but the people were a blur.  Passing him by with nothing more than even a glance.  Sitting naked in the middle of the moving crowd, tucking himself into himself, curled up against his own misery.  Looking into the eyes of the onlookers as they looked onwards to better things.  Paying attention to the future instead of the past, the old trash was replaced with the new as he stood there wondering who will see him and notice him.  With all hopes lost in the dismal of the chaotic intersection with no end in sight, there shone a light, the doorway to which he could see what appeared to be God.  It was standing there in the doorway with the light shadowing into it staring at him.  He smiled at the God that had showed him mercy, mercy that no one had yet, even today, not shown him back.  It was the happiness he was looking for.  Getting up from the cold spot that had kept warm for him and running towards the light that had made him warm, that had made him safe, that had made him feel like at home.  Smiling and running towards it, slowly getting closer to the comfort that he only wished and dreamt about.  It was the hope that he had and that had come true.  Extending his embrace to him, that only with his holy touch, could know and take.  It was the happiest he had ever been in his life.  And in that doorway, he saw, the God.  The one he worshipped, the one that had saved him, the one that stuck his hands to land, at that doorway, was Sota.  That man that showed him kindness, the man that had the heart of a saint.  It was him, he was the light in a world of darkness.  It was him that had his heart race every time he was near.  Running towards the God, hands out towards him trying to grab him.  It was the only wish he had it was the wish it was the dream.  With all that hope in his eyes, and the hope in his heart, he stared into the man that brought him to reality, but, now, it was smirking at him.  It was new to him, it was something that he didn’t expect at all.  The man wasn’t Sota anymore, it was different.  The man was a different, it wasn’t Sota.  The man in front of him, the God, was now everything he did not like.  It was the man he was afraid to see…-

 

“Sota…Sota…”

 

-Watching as the man smirked and looked at him with the red eyes of hate.  Throwing at him what was the man he loved.  Smirking as he laughed and evilly stared at the man that stood in front.  The angel that was going to get his wings to the horns of the fire, throwing him into the flames and pits of everything he felt was evil.  Sakai, screaming and yelling for the help of the ones he had left, but no help came.  His life was now a one way shot to hell as he reached the ground below…-

 

“Ahhhhhhhhh!”

 

-Waking up eyes widen, sweating hard.  Breathing in what seemed to be real, only what he thought was real.  Breathing in, and breathing out, normal.  Shocked into reality, normal.  The sweat that had stained his body, normal.  The time elapsed, one hour, normal.  It was still late, it was still dark as the midnight absence.  With the stirring of Sakai, Shina woke up as well.  Looking over at him with worry and wonder as she asked him gently…-

 

“Sakai…honey…what’s wrong?  Sakai?”

 

-Hearing the words that were known, he stopped and took a deep breath, watching the breath that was now known to the air.  The crisp air that frosted the moment looking back at her, still panting and breathing hard saying back, almost in a whisper…-

 

“I’m fine…just a bad dream, that’s all.”

“Oh, ok then.”

“I’m sorry if I wo…”

 

-The door creaked up to the room.  The door opened to the world inside the house.  It was now the cold chilling nightmare he had not want.  Shina and Sakai look at the door that stood open.  The door that had swung open was now open, in front of the door there stood, frozen and not scared was Sota Gawa.  The God was now in front with no arms extended no love no hope.  It was there, there to witness, to observe, to judge the sinners.  It was there, to sign the bill of death, for one.-