ART + LIFE
long winter
wow it seems to have been a long winter to me...who ever wishes to be a child agian?to be swinging on a swingset so carefreee not a simple thought....but thats all in the past..why do we have to grow up so fast?i mean whos ever had thier period in sixth grade?am i odd..?.....i miss bein a child..even though i may sound like one...i sure dont feel or think like one.....i mean where did things change and when?where did things go so wrong that at night i cry,my heart suffers....i mean i only have two friends...one i consider my best friend cause we understand each other....i just cant belive my childhood friend would go gay......how can everyone be so happy,,,?......i hate seeing couples it disgusts me....men are dogs....dirty and horrible!.....theres no peace in this world...i have everything i want but im still unhappy.....i miss having happiness i only remeber what it was like....so long ago...i feel old though im not....on nights...lonely nights when i ant to cry..i think of you...sometimes i wish to be single and famous somewhere in japan,to runaway there.....but thats not possible and its no way to solve anything....and other times i wish to be a wife...cause i hate being alone...i just hope because i only hang with girls people at school will think im gay but im not i hate and just dont trust boys..plus theres too many couples and that irritaes me,so to let out my sadness and anger i play soul caliber 3,where im soo good at it im proud of my character shes not a failure like me and she has awsome sayings.....in my own little world so cold and alone,i guess people dont like me or im scary looking or hard to approach.....now that my older sis approves...but shes late..1 year too late....i used to have a lotta friends on the inernet but not anymore....its like they've all straight-up dissed me!just cause i was gone for 3 months or so.....or did they just forget that i even exsist..?......ive messaged them but they never respond....i really do give up....where i ve gotten to the point of i cut myself one......seven cuts on my left arm.......how do i go on?.....oh god please help me im so tired of crying.....so tired....me myself and i is all i got thats what i found out and there aint no need to cry cause from no on ill be my own best friend.
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