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Panel One: Small panel. Sama has one hand in his pocket (his bear is in his other hand), and he kicks at the ground with his tennis shoe.

1/SAMA: Guess it couldn't hurt if you told me, you know, just in case.

Panel Two: Sama now sits besides the old man, and has taken Eddie out from behind his back. The teddy bear is sitting next to Sama, away from the old man, and Sama has his arm around the toy bear, protecting it. In fact, his whole body is curved in reaction to the big presence of the old man.

The old man, on the other hand, isn't really being that overbearing. Yes, he's leaning toward Sama, and his leering gaze (toward Eddie, not Sama) is in full swing. But there's a part of him that's HOLDING BACK. His hands and fingers are reaching out, but his arms are close to his chest. Like he's afraid to get too close or he'll get burned. His eyes are wide and wild, but there really is a fine line here -- the Old Man shouldn't be so weird and sick that Sama is turned off or afraid of him. He's just got to be a bit off, in a way that would be easy for Sama to dismiss.

2/OLD MAN: Ha! Very well. First, let me see your teddy bear. Ah, just a quick little look. <cough>

3/OLD MAN: Yes, yes, yes. So cute.

Panel Three: Here I hope to sell that last idea that Sama isn't too put off, and is willing to dismiss the Old Man's craziness because he's so into the story. So here is a small reaction shot of Sama's face. It's a very delicate mix of concern and wishfullness. He hasn't totally given in to the fantasy, but in his heart he wants to. He's just so afraid.

4/OLD MAN (off): The Sugar Stone is in the most wonderful magical place in all the world, a place called Undertown. It's where teddy bears come from.

Panel Four: As the old man tells his story, we can see a big landscape of Undertown. This is a bit of a trick, because we need to see the world of Undertown as this strange man is describing it, which is either a lie or a memory from long, long ago when the world wasn't a total wasteland. Here, this vista is vast and majestic. The view is from up high on Bird Ridge, looking down on the valley where Ghost Grove is.

In the distance we can see downtown and the Sugar Factory. This is our chance to establish the old structure of the first factory, which should have a distinctive enough façade that we'll be able to recognize it as the scrap that makes up the wall around the new factory later on.

I've always had this kind of suffocating small vision of the geography of Undertown, which is to say that ever since I drew that simple map, it felt like it was a small, condensed city rather than a huge world. Jake, you've done a great job of opening up my mind with your incredible concept landscape paintings. So here I want more of that. I want something that feels like what Miyazaki did so well in Howl's Moving Castle -- these vast landscapes of cities, mountains, and meadows that had a lush, inviting, realness to them.

All of this should be the "clean, pretty" version. Even if it doesn't quite fit later, the point here is to show the "ideal" version of Undertown. It needs to be the place that every kid would want to escape to.

Jake, I have full faith in your ability to wow and amaze, and you're going to need to pull out the stops here. Sama (and hopefully the readers) need to be impressed, tempted, and excited. The old man's words aren't enough, we have to really see it ... and feel it.

5/CAPTION: "Oh how I remember being there as a little boy, not much older than you. Everyone is so friendly. No one cries. And everything is so deliciously sweet.

6/CAPTION: "Some would say it's the happiest place that has ever existed."