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Rain walked slowly down the dark street towards home, her pouch heavier with her night's winnings. She had just left one of the dangerous parts of town, from a late night poker game. That part of town was full of criminals and dangerous men. Rain's nerves were still tingling, she was always afraid of something happening like her poker mates finding out her secret.

She stopped for a minute and sighed, knowing that she needed to find better ways of earning money, but this was the easiest and fastest way. More than once she wished be able to leave this wretched town. She sighed again and continued to walk home. When she arrived she opened the door quietly

"Rain honey is that you?" 

Rain cursed under her breath then said,

"Yes mom its me."

Rain's mother walked out of the kitchen and faced the doorway, she was of medium height, shoulder length dark hair, and wore a plain dress. Rain on the other hand was tall, had short light brown hair, and dressed like a boy; the only way Rain resembled her mother was her facial features, she looked just like her. Rain"s mother smiled and walked over towards her daughter. As her mother neared it became obvious that something was a little off about her. She walked up to Rain and reached out her hands and touched her face,

"Is something wrong dear? You're back late." 

It was plain now that her mother couldn't see; she was blind. Rain smiled gently and removed the hands off her face and hugged her mother,

"I'm okay. I was just out with some friends. I'm going to bed now." 

She walked out of the room and went to her bedroom. As soon as she closed the door she started to undress. She pulled off her shirt and then slowly began to untie the binding around her chest, she had to do it slowly or it would be more painful. When it was off she crossed her arms around her chest wincing at the pain. When the pain was gone she dressed in her night cloths and laid down on her bed. She could breath easier now but her chest felt sore with every breath she took.

She didn't like to bind her chest so tightly but women weren't allowed to play in the poker games, so she had no choice; it also didn't help that she had a good-sized bosom. She decided to have some time off from the poker games, to make sure her chest doesn't get too sore and to lay off any suspicions that anyone might have. She had to be careful, if those guys ever found out that she was cheating they would cripple her but if they found out she was a woman then she would be killed.

The next day she went out shopping for her mother and returned home a while later,

 

"Mom, I'm home" 

she called as she shut the door behind her. Her mother stood in the kitchen doorway and smiled like always,

 

"Hello dear, we have a guest."

Rain walked to the kitchen and froze in the doorway.

"Sir Walter decided to visit us today. Isn't that nice dear?"

"Um, yeah"

Rain mumbled as she entered the kitchen and put down the groceries. She was about to turn and leave when her mother stopped her,

"Come and have some tea with us honey."

Rain reluctantly sat down and pored herself a cup of tea. Sir Walter was elderly and had the look of a battle hardened warrior, which he was. He had a few scars across his bearded face, semi-long white hair, and had only one eye; an eye patch covered his left eye. He wasn't a talkative man; he mostly sat quietly and sipped his tea as her mother did most of the talking. Rain sat quietly and said nothing hoping that her mother wouldn't try to bring her into the conversation.

It was plain to anyone, including her mother that she didn't like the man sitting next to her and wouldn't even glance his way. After what she felt like was long enough time to be polite, Rain stood and said,

"Sorry but I promised to meet a friend of mine soon. If you'll excuse me."

She left without giving either of them a chance to say anything. Sir Walter watched as Rain rushed out of the house and sighed as soon as she was gone.

"I still do not understand her actions,"

he said sadly.

"Does she still refuse to continue her training?"

Rain's mother asked. Sir Walter looked at her

"Desiree, has she still told you nothing?"

She closed her eyes and slowly shook her head.

It was obvious that Rain had just lied to get out of the house. Now Rain wondered down the streets trying to think of somewhere to go, she couldn't go back home with him in the house. She did her best to avoid Sir Walter as often as she could; she was getting tired of him trying to convince her to start training again.

"Doesn't he get it?"

she thought angrily to herself.

She finally looked up to see where she had wondered to and recognized the part of town where traveling shows had set up their large tents and where some nightclubs stood. She wondered around the small streets and found the club she was looking for, the one where she did her show. Rain walked in to see that she just started her act and sat down to a small table near the back. Rain often came to watch the shows, to calm her nerves and got her mind off her troubles. The show ended and the announcer came back onstage

"Thank you. That was your favorite jester girl Starlet! We hope you enjoyed the performance and will come again."

Rain stood and walked outside, she still didn't feel like going home so she went and leaned against the wall of the nightclub. She looked above at the darkening sky and wondered if Sir Walter has left yet. Lost in her own thoughts, she was suddenly startled by someone speaking to her,

"Hey there!"

Rain looked to see who spoke and was surprised to see it was the jester girl. She could feel herself blushing as she stumbled over her words,

"Oh, um h-hey. Um, y-you're Starlet right?"

Starlet gave a big smile,

"Who else! And you're the one who has come to almost all of my performances aren't you?"

Rain felt her blush deepen as she nodded,

"Um, y-yeah, you noticed?"

Starlet gave another big smile,

"Well what's your name?"

"Rain"

Rain said meekly.

"Rain? Hmm, that's a bit of an odd name for a boy. Well nice to meet you,"

She shook Rain's hand,

"Take care!"

Starlet turned and walked away, leaving Rain a little stunned. Then she suddenly realized

"Boy? She thought I was a boy?"

It took her a second to remember that she had a boy's cut and her cloak covered the rest of her body. She shook her head and headed towards home. When she returned she was relieved to see that Sir Walter was gone and her mother was already in bed. She went to her room and prepared for bed, she still felt a little startled about meeting her favorite performer but she thought this feeling was better than the feeling she got after returning from the poker games.

A few nights later she decided to return to the games, she bound her chest and got dressed in her dark cloths. She strapped on her belt that held her double daggers and wrapped a scarf around her neck that also covered the lower part of her face. She threw on her cloak, went out the door and headed down the darkening streets. She arrived in font of a tall building and knocked on the door. There was a small panel on the door that slid open to reveal a set of eyes,

"Who's there?"

came a strong female voice. Rain stepped into the light and looked at the pair of eyes,

"Oh,"

said the voice. The panel slid closed and Rain could hear the door unlock and open to reveal the owner of the pair of eyes she saw in the door.

"Rain! Well where have you been?"

A tall attractive woman said smiling as she stepped out of the way to let Rain in.

"Hey Dice,"

she said as she entered,

"I just took a small break is all"

she turned to her; she kept her voice low to make it sound more boyish. Dice grinned,

"Well, the guys were wondering where you've been. Come on, they only just started"

Rain followed dice to the elevator and went up a few floors and stopped. They stepped out and went into a room where there were several guys sitting around a table playing poker with coins stacked in the middle of the table and around the players. The men looked up to see who came in, one of the biggest guys grinned as she neared the table,

"Well if it isn't Rain. What have you been up to boy?"

"Hey Boras, nothing much just wanted a small break."

A guy she didn't recognize started laughing,

"Rain? The boy's name is Rain?"

Boras gave the guy a look,

"Laugh now Sane but this boy could clean you out in one game, he's one of the best @$%# poker players I've seen"

Sane stopped laughing but looked at Rain unsure that Boras' words were true. Whatever Boras said was taken as true, no one dared disagree or disobey him. As Rain went to sit down Boras stood up,

"Wait"

Rain froze in her spot,

"Dice did you check him?"

Dice looked at him a little panicked,

"Huh, but he never tries to cheat."

Boras gave Dice a look that would scare anyone,

"You're supposed to check everyone before they come here" he drew his sword and pointed it at her, "or haven't you been checking everyone?" 

She started to tremble a little,

"Of course, but come on, the boy never cheats"

she backed away from the sword,

"Alright, alright I'll check him."

She turned towards Rain, reached out her hands and performed a revealing spell to see if she placed any spells on herself. Dice turned back to Boras,

"See? The boy is clean" 

Boras grinned and laughed,

"I know the boy wouldn't try anything. I was just playing with you babe."

He put his sword away and sat back in his chair,

"Come on boy, your turn to deal"

as Dice left shaken, Rain sat down and shuffled the deck, feeling a little relieved. Rain was feeling a little anxious; she didn't like coming back here and now was trying to figure out her odds against being caught. She didn't need spells to cheat at poker, it was all in the way she shuffled the deck and how she dealt the cards. She manipulated the deck to get the good cards and dealt off the bad ones. But she made sure than she didn't win every time or even these idiots would figure it out.

The only one she had to worry about was the guy who was completely hidden by his cloak. Even with her dealing, she's lost quite a few hands to this guy. He just sits quietly at the table almost never speaking and when he did speak, he spoke in whispers. Rain was sure that she could feel his eyes on her as she played. She felt a little more nervous than usual tonight, almost like she knew something bad was going to happen. She was a little distracted as she started dealing again, suddenly Boras stood up,

"Hold it!"

Rain froze as Boras reached out and grabbed her hand that held the deck and stared at it. The other guys looked nervous and one asked,

"What's wrong Boras, what's going on?" 

Boras didn't answer as he continued to look at the deck in her hand and then stared at her. He then smiled, a smile that sent chills down her spine and made her wish she wasn't there.

"Look at the deck"

he said, not taking his eyes off hers,

"look at how the bottom card sticks out, that usually happens when you deal form the bottom of the deck too forcefully,"

The other guys at the table looked at the deck in her hand which Boras still held.

"I thought you were a little too good boy"

he let go of her hand as he signaled two guys stood up took her arms and held them behind her.

"You know boy I used to cheat like that too until I was caught and paid the price"

Boras said as he pointed out the scars that ran across both sides of his face. He then pulled out his sword,

"Now how shall we deal with this one? Should I give you the same punishment as I got, or something more?" 

his sword roamed near her face as he spoke. Rain sat shivering, she could barely breathe; with her arms behind her the bindings grew tighter around her chest

"Wait! I'm sorry but I needed money to help my mother."

Boras laughed,

"Aw, aren't you a good boy, but you picked the wrong place to cheat."

He was about to slice down Rain's cheek when the hooded stranger stood up,

"Hold it!"

The cloak was thrown off to reveal Starlet. All the men stood surprised,

"A woman!? How did she get in?"

She smiled at everyone,

"Sorry guys but I can't let you hurt the boy"

Boras glared at her,

"Yeah? Well, lets see about that"

he signaled the other men to grab her. Starlet smiled and produced a small orb between her fingers,

"Smile!"

She threw the orb to the floor that produced a flash and smoke filled the room. Rain couldn't see anything and she still couldn't move. Suddenly she felt the men holding her let go and heard dull thuds behind her. She then felt someone grab her arm,

"Come with me" 

she heard Starlet whisper in her ear. She let herself be led across the room, still blinded by smoke. She could hear a door opening and then was outside on the balcony. Rain coughed and breathed in the fresh air, then she heard Boras' voice,

"The balcony, they went out on the balcony!"

Rain turned to Starlet,

"What are we going to do? There's nowhere to go" 

Starlet smiled and pulled on her arm,

"Don't worry I have a plan."

She pulled Rain to the edge and then stepped up on the ledge.

"Come on"

she said,

"B-but" 

she smiled once again,

"Trust me."

Rain stepped up on the ledge just as Boras came crashing thru the door; Starlet wrapped an arm around Rain,

"Hold on tight," 

she said as they jumped off.


There are many stories of young girls aspiring to become knights even with gender rules against them. But what about the girl who was accepted to train without question, but for reasons unknown quit and refuses to become the first female knight?

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Added 2006-09-18 19:39:12
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Comments

Wow, this is such a great rid. Your characters are well rounded, and the plot is amazing and believable, you draw the reader right in. Really important. Everyone's give all the advice that I would have, so I'll just say I'll look forward to the next chapter. ^_^

2006-10-24 21:09:34


Yes I like this story and lookforward to more. Would like to see a more paragraph form of writting but great story

2006-10-22 15:54:27


Very good, and a cliffhanger ending, just the way I like it. I understand why people complain about putting things in paragraphs, but gramatically your doing it right. Your supposed to start a new paragraph when somebody new starts to talk. But in the end, it's however you feel makes things easier. Good flow to the story, can't wait for the next part.

2006-10-08 01:10:13


That's really rather good. I'd echo the comment about more paragraphs - it's hard to read when everything's packed in without linebreaks, even changes of scene. Also there's a "your" that should be "you're". But the story is compelling and interesting. Keep it up!

2006-09-29 05:35:27


that is awesome!!! my only advise is make more paragraphs. it's hard to read really long ones but i like it a lot!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-22 23:25:17


wow this started out really good.

2006-09-21 14:13:04


great start to a great story chica!! i luved it all the one thing i would say is to give a separate line for diologue but that it! everything else was fabulous! i cant wait to read more of this story!! ~Laura

2006-09-21 06:46:30


This is a great start--you grab the reader right from the beginning! As for formatting, it's customary to insert a carriage return before each new line of dialogue. You might also break down the paragraphs into smaller sections for ease of reading. But the mechanics of the story--character, plot, point--are all executed very well, so keep on posting!

2006-09-19 08:21:35


Ooh, interesting.

2006-09-19 05:07:50


i like the plot but the chapter is kind of long don't ya think? also when rain finds the nightclub it gets confusing because the word 'her' is used too often. but in the long run its pretty good. oh hey also if u have the time can u read a fic ive been working on? i want to get your opioion as a writer, its a fantasy fic called 'Never say Love'. Thanks!

2006-09-19 00:38:18


This came out SOOO great! I love the whole setup of the story & I can't wait to read more! Your characters are wonderful & your grammer is beautiful (it is so refreshing to be able to understand what I'm reading)! I also really like the length of your chapter- it's long enough to really express what's going on without being overwhelming- great job!

2006-09-18 21:08:35


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  • POPS: 9
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  • FANS: 80
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  • GENDER: F
  • LOCATION: USA