the randomness of life

by zero rose

prologue: the author's note

Parts of this story are true. Some parts actually happened, but have been exagerrated because I feel like it. Other parts of this story never happened at all but have been put in because I AM THE GOD OF THIS STORY AND RULE WITH AN IRON FIST OF WRITING! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

(ahem)

And those of you trying to find any sort of symbolic meaning, or deeper themes or morals in this story will be shot. I mean it! I have the gun right now! I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT! I TOLD YOU BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME!

(The rest of this note has been stopped since the author has been carried away to an asylum. We now continue on with our regular program. Please ignore this note and continue on with your bleak and meaningless lives.

(For your information, my name is !jinlan?, which you cannot pronounce since I am from far off into the future and from another dimension entirely. Please call me Ishamael. Or Jean. Or Debbie. Whatever suits your better.

(Today, I present to you a chronicle. A tale of romance, love, adventure, instant messaging, and a world like none you've ever seen. Well, actually, you've probably seen it before in badly made and badly written science-fiction movies that you often see on cable television, but that is something else entirely.

(I will be your narrator. This story starts off innocently enough. It starts off somewhere on your planet Earth. In the year 2098. Things haven't really changed that much. People are still people. Boys will be boys. You still have to go to school and...)